Have you ever wondered what would have happened if you knew 10 years ago what you know now? I did.
I thought about how my life would be like if I knew what to look for in a man when I was in my 20’s.
So I made this list with 25 traits of real men to send it to my younger self (if you know of a way to send letters back in time, let me know :).
I don’t get into how a real man acts about sexuality in this post, this will be another story. And I keep the list open to new additions, so feel free to add yours in the comments.
Without further ado, here are the 25 traits of a real man that every woman dreams about:
1. A real man is a man who is truthful to his masculine essence.
2. He’s not shy to speak his mind.
3. He compliments you without expecting anything in return.
He has the courage to tell you he likes the way your smile lights up the room because that’s how it feels for him. And he doesn’t expect anything in return for complementing you.
He is simply acknowledging your beauty, your grace, your feminine essence and he’s rejoicing in it.
As he acknowledges the beauty of a mountain peak or of the wild ocean he rejoices in your beauty and makes you aware of it.
Thus he enhances beauty wherever he sees it.
Because a woman becomes even more beautiful when she feels seen and appreciated in her essence by a real man.
4. A real man doesn’t apologise for his feelings or his desires.
This doesn’t mean he’s rude or inconsiderate with other people’s feelings. On the contrary.
If you want to know more about what I mean a man should not apologise for his desires watch this 10′ video with Zan Perrion. (And if you want to get deeper in the subject of being truthful with your masculinity then you should definitely read his awesome book, “The Alabaster Girl”. I will come back with a review soon.)
5. He’s a true gentleman.
He’s generous and kind, not only with his loved ones, but with the whole world.
A real man is respectful with everyone, regardless of their social status. And yes, he will open the door and pull a chair for you at the table, give you his coat if you are chilly and all those other kind gestures gentlemen do.
6. A real man embraces all of his being:
– his strengths as well as his weaknesses
– his shadows and his gifts
– his masculine essence and his feminine part
– his wild, untamed soul desires as well as
– his peaceful, loving and gentle side.
7. A real man is confident in his body, peaceful in his mind and aware of his emotions.
8. He can remain centred and grounded when the whole world seems to be falling apart, even if he’s scared as sh*t in his heart.
9. A real man takes care of his body, mind and soul.
He knows that in order to be of help to others he needs to be in the best possible shape and state of mind. Although to some he might look selfish, he’s actually more selfless than the average man.
He doesn’t abuse his body by eating junk food or smoking or drinking or by any other substances.
He exercises because he loves to move and to be strong and healthy, and to inspire others to the same.
He respects his free time and doesn’t hide from his emotions by overworking.
10. A real man has a mission, a clear purpose that’s bigger than him.
He wants to make a dent in the world and he’s working on it every day.
11. A real man recognises a real woman and supports her in whatever she wants to do.
12. A real man never uses more power than needed.
He is very strong, much stronger than you. But he will never ever lay a finger on you, no matter what. He will protect and respect you to the best of his knowledge.
13. A real man will never ever use manipulative, deceiving mind games to make you do something you don’t want to.
He doesn’t need anything from you anyway. He is happy and content with his life and he doesn’t need you to make it better.
Although he highly appreciates each and every single one of your gifts, that you lovingly share with him.
14. A real man always speaks from his heart, from his core.
15. He knows his limits. And he’s constantly pushing through them.
16. A real man can stand still even during the most troubled times of your relationship.
He will stand by your side when the sh*t hits the fan.
17. A real man has a witty sense of humour, knowing that life is too short to be taken too seriously.
He will always laugh with you and he will make you laugh every day. Because your smile and your laughter brighten up the room you walk in.
19. He’s not afraid to ask for help when he needs it.
And he’s the first to offer his help where he’s needed.
20. A real man consults with you and truly listens to what you have to say.
21. He is not afraid to contradict you if he doesn’t agree with you, nor is he late to say “I’m sorry” or “I was wrong” if that is the case.
22. A real man inspires you to be the best version of yourself.
He doesn’t settle for a lesser version of you. He brings out to light your gifts and your shadows so you can work on them. And that will make things complicated, but it will help you both grow.
23. A real man lives a life of integrity.
His actions match his words, and his words match his thoughts.
24. A real man gives back more than he takes.
He’s a giver and a doer.
25. A real man is a precious and rare gift.
And the way to have one in your life is by being a real woman.
So that’s my first letter to my younger self about the traits of real men.
Now it’s your turn. What’s your favourite trait from this list and what would you add to it? Drop me a line in the comments bellow.
With all my love,
P.S. If you want to know more about how to listen to your gut and trust its messages check out this video.