Day 8 – Hug A Friend For 20 Seconds

“A hug is worth a thousand words.” ~Author Unknown

If we didn’t meet in person yet You might not know that I am a Hugger. I am called by my friends a “professional hugger”. I am also a cuddle person, but that’s for another time 🙂

Day 8 – Let’s Do Some Real, From The Heart Hugging

How To Do This: It might seem obvious, but it’s not quite so for many people. See the How Not To section bellow. When You say hello to your friends today, open your arms with a big smile and wait for them to do the same. Spread a bit your legs, bend slightly your knees and get close to each other. Wrap your arms around your friend and breath deeply for at least 5 breaths or until you count to 20. Feel your heart, relax and enjoy the moment.

The advanced version: Any “aaaaaahhhhh”, “hmmmmmm”, “yuuuuuum” sounds of delight, and any other purring-cat-like-sounds are allowed and beneficial 🙂

How Not To Do This: I’ve noticed that many people don’t get what hugging is all about.

First: avoid the 3 “half assed” hugs:

-the “politician” – touching shoulders and tapping each other’s back

-the “prude” – keeping your genital area far, far away, as if your ass is being pulled back by an invisible thread

-the “macho man” – touching sideways, shoulders and arms, with taps on the back

Second: don’t tap or rub your partner’s back unless You want to end the hug. Although when massaging someone these actions are very nice, while hugging they send on an unconscious level the message “I am done here, let’s split”.

Hugging Magic Numbers (Backed By Science)

– 20 seconds – it’s the necessary time for the release of oxytocin in our brains. 

– 8 hugs a day – is the optimum amount of hugs we need to feel good 

“We have shown that touch not only raises oxytocin, but it reduces cardiovascular stress and can improve the immune system. Try telling people that you hug rather than shake hands and see what happens when you give others the gift of oxytocin.” (Paul J. Zak, The Moral Molecule)

My experience with hugging: I am a heavy hugger, spreading the “virus” wherever I go. I am so delighted to see how  quickly and beautifully hugging transforms people and relationships.

I am most grateful for the moment when the ones who were the most reluctant when first hugged, greet me with open arms and ask for their hug even before I initiate one. Priceless! 🙂

Needless to say that breathing consciously for at least 20 seconds, while hugging a friend is like a double meditation. And what a delicious one! This will get You out of your mind, into the body and right back on that direct line with your gut.

So that’s it for today. If you missed yesterday’s exercise, here it is.

Can’t wait to see your comments about your hugging day.

Spread the joy by sharing this post with your friends. And then go hug them 🙂

With all my love,

Raluca

PS: the photo was taken during a 3 days New Year’s meditation retreat in 2011. You can see me on the right front corner 🙂