Suffering Makes Us Wise

My 500 words – How To Express Gratitude For The Painful Lessons Given By Your Ex

I was lingering around my laptop wanting to write my 500 words in a way that I could also publish them. In the last few days I kept my writing, but it was too much journal like to post it on the blog.

I’ve told myself I would just start free writing, and see what comes up.

Then I got a call from a friend. Actually an ex boyfriend.

When An Ex-Boyfriend Calls To Say “Thank you” For The Good And The Bad You Shared Together

So, it was not that call where your ex is trying to get back with you.

We remained friends after we stopped being together. He called me to share something new and beautiful that is happening in his life.

And to thank me for the beautiful moments we shared together.

And, something that really surprised me, to thank me even for those drama queen moments that I have created during our short but intense relationship.

Those moments when I felt like I’ve done so wrong, like I’ve hurt him so much, when we were both suffering and crying. Yes, for those moments.

He told me that because he integrated those moments he is now able to be so more emphatic with his current partner. He is a lot more able to understand what she is going through.

I felt so grateful for him telling me that.

Because I clearly remember the pain I experienced in those moments. I felt really really bad. I remember I felt like I was the worse person in the world, for making him suffer so much.

So to hear him telling me “thank you” for something that I’ve judged and blamed myself for quite a long time, it was a very beautiful gift.

Of course, this is possible because he is dedicated to his self growth and personal development.

He is very intelligent and very aware of the hard work that each of us need to do in order to sustain a healthy, happy relationship.

So this is my way of expressing my gratitude to him, and to Life itself, to the Universe who is my best teacher.

Until recently I’ve re-framed and connected the dots of some unhappy, hard times from the past that proved to be for the better later on.

And I’ve done this by going through an intensive process of introspection. It has been my own process.

It is refreshing and exhilarating to receive this gift from someone else, someone that I cherish and appreciate.

It makes me think now to do the same for other people who have been a part of my life and who’ve taught me some tough lessons that I’ve resented at that time.

Gratitude Brings More Gratitude

Expressing gratitude for everything that we used to blame and judge can completely change our lives.

But this can only come from an intensive and authentic process of introspection, therapy and so on.

We need to integrate those painful moments and use their gifts in our current lives. That’s how we can feel gratitude and express it.

Otherwise, if it’s a forced, imposed process-“you should forgive him or her!”- it won’t work.

My heart is filled with gratitude for this wonderful gift I’ve just received.

How about you? Do you have any ex-partners that you used to blame for how much they made you suffer?

And then you realized that those moments helped you grow so much?

Did you get back to them to express your gratitude for their contribution in your life?

If you didn’t, how about doing this now? Give them a call, or write them an email.

Let me know how it went and how you felt afterwords by dropping a comment bellow.

 

 

 

 

This Post Has 2 Comments

  1. I’m so glad I came across this post! I was in an accident recently and have been going through a tremendous period of self reflection. The accident could have paralyzed me, or worse, but instead, it looks like I will make a full recovery. A huge part of this process has been gratitude, and I’ve reached out to a few ex’s over the past few weeks who have been important in my life, to thank them. I count them, and our time together, among my blessings, and I wanted them to know that. They have all answered the call. I have been viewing this as an opportunity to “go deep,” and heal more than the broken bones. Thank you for your post. <3 JJ

    1. Thanks for sharing your experience, JJ! So awesome you’re gonna make a full recovery, it seems like you’ve been through some tough challenges. Keep up the gratitude work and take care of your self!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *